Practicing your signature over and over again, just incase you become famous.

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D'ya wanna hear a joke about Carbon Dioxide? You'll love it, it's gas!
Hi, I'm Troy McLure. You're reading this in my voice, aren't you?
If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.
Practicing your signature over and over again, just incase you become famous.
Seeing that one person and always thinking ... ' I would' ....
If you friend request me on facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you're a transformer.
Batteries not included...the three words that ruined christmas :/
You know she's a classy bird when her thongs half way up her back..
People say "everything happens for a reason." so when I punch you in the face, remember I had a reason . . .
Saying "i'm not drinking for a while " never works..... ever
Practicing your mum or dad's signature for when you have to get your homework notebook signed
We all know someone whos always 'sick'
Secondary school? The only decent thing I did in there was grow
Apparently, Twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a vampire.
I'm convinced my granny is trying to make me fat.
Getting a salad from McDonalds is like paying a prostitute for a hug
Admit it, at least once in your life you have tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with “So this one time I was eating a salad….
That awkward moment when nobody likes your Facebook status
Letting the phone ring so the person doesn’t know you’re ignoring them …
That awkward moment when your mom compares you to another kid and yet she has NO idea how much worse they are than you.
I'm not mean, I just refuse to respect people that dont deserve it
When I was Younger It Was A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K- elemeno -P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z :) ^^still is :L
I wish Facebook had a "Nobody Cares" Button! :D
I did not slap you, I high-fived your face!
Texting someone who is sitting right next to you.
How come Mario can smash through bricks... yet he dies when he touches a freaking turtle!!
I just hate it when i am sad, but dont know the reason. :(
*types in password*, Pass Doesnt Work, ** OMFG IM HACKED**.... oh wait... nvm, CAPS LOCK WAS ON.
That awkward moment when your sitting in class and you start laughing out of nowhere because you remembered something funny
I hate it, when i lie in my bed and my brain just doesnt shut up !
That awkward moment when you accidentally type your password into your user name box.
That awkward moment when your about to hug some one really hot, and you hit the mirror
That awkward moment when you notice someones zipper is down but you dont want to say anything because you dont have an excuse for why you were down there
Sunglasses: Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.
I wasnt that drunk!- dude you ran to your kitchen, cut open a pineapple, and yelled "SPONGEBOB ARE YOU IN THERE?!?"
If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit end on a call, I would have no friends.
That awkward moment when all of the facebook ads are related to cats
First 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.